I experienced 2 years of major shifts within 4 years of each other leading up to age 29 among a few other key points in my life. My company went broke, relationships were changing, friends got married or moved away and I moved interstate to work in the health and well-being industry.
Thinking about how the erosion of my routines and comfort zones felt in hindsight, it makes the apocalyptic movie “2012” come to mind where John Cusack plays a family father frantically driving through solar flares and earthquakes that are caused by tectonic plates shifting. The ground opened and getting to the other side was a millisecond destiny call. Whether we want to or not – we are MOVED at those times by forces that cannot be ignored.
Life has its moments and definite crossroads for us at times. All this when we are supposed to take the next powerful step in our mapped-out path to hit the age 30 landmark?
Luckily, we can replace this thinking with today’s multitude of opportunities to choose alternatives which are more widely accepted. Technology, like everything – has its pros and cons, but we can have almost all creative potential at our fingertips if we make it work for ourselves. The freedom we can obtain has grown equally as much as the restrictions we bear on the outside during this time. Doesn’t it often hinge on how we think about it all!?
True freedom comes from realizing we can take choices! We realize often around this age that catering for a parental expectation which is not who we are and who we want to become. The life changes we are facing are often irreversible and we sense that things won’t stay the same.
The late twenties are often called one of the Milestone Ages. Sharing my changing emotions and thinking with trusted friends and studying natural therapies helped making sense of the things I questioned during these shifts in my value system. Learning and reaching for more information helped me to identify what I truly believed, about life, death and it empowered me to step through these times with much more understanding and reassurance. Diary writing became my daily practice as a possibility to put on paper what I most needed to express, it often gave me extra perspectives on the dilemmas when I most needed it! Clarity often came from within as I was writing.
Here are some additional tips of support for a time we feel this tide in our lives. We often sense this slightly nausea which may be change anxiety in our bellies. This is how our instincts inform us and we think (“here we go again!”). Choices are needed from us to utilize the natural tides to continually create our best lives.
1. The anxiety and its effect on our stress levels and nerves is significant. It is your two-pronged friend. It either prepares you for a fight or a flight response. This means we internally muster up the adrenalin and courage to make the change or we withdraw and gather energy for our next move. Either way, we will need to look after ourselves and slow down a little, if we can!
2. We may want patterns or routine to continue and feel frustrated by roadblocks that appear. This may point towards the fact that adjustments are needed. Deep down we often know this. Consider these hold ups when planning your schedule.
3. Find safety in the routines you can maintain amid what seems to be chaotic for a while. It will keep you calm and give to little islands to jump to.
4. Healthy habits are key to cultivate that this time. This may involve food, sleep, exercise and more. The results will strengthen your immune system and overall outlook. It will help to feel more motivated and energetic.
5. Seek support from a trusted source, a friend who can listen and be encouraging. This will allow you to talk through solutions. We usually have the inner wisdom to know what is required and talking about it can make this answer just fall out.
6. Be proactive – planning things is still a great way to feel more confident. Just accept changes and adjustments will be needed and stay as flexible as you can.
7. Hiding under a rock occasionally and feeling emotional is perfectly natural at this time. Make time for a release and keep breathing!
8. Listen to your feelings – the things you used to enjoy can feel outlived or flat. This is no coincidence and calls for adjustment.
9. Get extra input by researching and learning – knowledge about choices and alternatives boosts our confidence.
10. Remember that it is temporary, and it often looks much more daunting than it is.
Milestone ages are Rites of Passage times. If we see them as a reason to be excited, they are powerful. If we embrace the chance, they catapult us toward where we are meant to make an impact and be happiest. Don’t resist – what you are holding onto has shifted (like the tectonic plate)!
You can do this! In fact, you are often just looking at a great opportunity in your life wrapped in temporary discomfort to make room for the new aspect of you that you have been wanting.
Sylvia Flimm has been a financial executive and counsellor in her dual career path for nearly 30 years. Her passion is to provide tools for increased self-understanding. Understanding our inner self, especially during times of crisis, builds confidence and stability resulting in more fulfilling interactions– both in their careers and in relationships.
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