Teenagers are more depressed than they ever have been before. According to research, depression hits as many as 20% of all teenagers. If that statistic wasn’t alarming enough, suicide has risen to be the second leading cause of death in people under the age of 18. Clearly, this is a very serious issue that has experts scrambling to discover the best solution to this epidemic.
The signs of depression may not be as easy to spot as you think. Classical signs of being sad are a possibility, but not everyone has those more obvious symptoms. Your teenager could be depressed if they are sleeping more or less than usual, showing changes in their appetite, acting apathetic and lethargic, withdrawing, losing interest in things they once enjoyed, isolating themselves from friends, or even making self-deprecating “jokes” or comments regarding their worth.
When you begin to notice these symptoms you could be forgiven for mistaking it for moodiness or hormonal teenage angst. The problem is that the stereotype of the moody teenager is common, but inaccurate. Teenagers seem more depressed because they are more depressed. Those traits that are often written off as normal are probably more serious than previously believed.
If you suspect your teen is suffering from depression, you may feel helpless. The good news is that already by being involved you are helping to address the problem. But what do you do?
Have a Real Conversation
The first step is just opening the conversation. Talking about depression is hard for anyone, but it can be especially difficult for teens. They just don’t have the necessary language to explain what is happening inside of them. After all, they are dealing with a great deal, both externally and internally.
Tell them that you are worried about them and have noticed that they seem to be exhibiting depression symptoms. Let them know it is OK to talk to you, no matter what they have to say. Then just listen.
Let Them Know Their Feelings Are Valid
Depression is not a disease that discriminates. People of all ages, genders and environments can experience it for any number of reasons. They might feel that they have no right to feel so sad. But that just isn’t the case.
Tell them that their feelings are perfectly valid and they have every right to feel them. Explain that just because someone might be worse off doesn’t mean their pain doesn’t matter.
Begin Helping Them to Quiet the Negative Voice
Mindfulness isn’t the only thing necessary to deal with most depression. But it can be a helpful tool that allows the person suffering to begin turning away negative thoughts and finding a more positive perspective. This all starts by making those thoughts a habit and banishing the negative voice that tells them they aren’t good enough, or that the pain won’t end.
Over time it can help with their self-esteem.
Make an Honest Assessment of Their Situation
“Kids bounce back so easily.” This is an often believed – and technically true – adage about children and their ability to cope with change and trauma. But just because they have the ability to overcome difficult times, doesn’t mean they don’t need help getting there.
Your teen’s environment can have a huge impact on their feelings of self-esteem and self-worth. Depression can be caused or worsened by bullying at school, isolation from peers, troubles in the home, divorce, struggles with siblings, difficulty with a teacher or class, past trauma or a whole host of other sources.
By taking the time to understand the situation your child has found themselves in, you can begin to help them to work through their struggles. It starts with an honest assessment, so you can start your battle plan.
Be prepared to learn some things you didn’t know and may find upsetting. Try not to punish your teen for what you discover, if something is found to be against the rules you have set for them. Remember that the point is to provide them a safe way to express themselves and begin working through whatever issues they are facing. They are already being punished enough by their own emotions.
Get Them Professional Help
Finally, they will need professional help. Even if their depression doesn’t seem very severe, they may be hiding the extent of their pain. A trained professional knows the questions to ask and the more subtle signs to look for.
While talk therapy may be enough for some cases, there is a chance medication could be used to help more severe forms of depression. Mental illness is a complicated and multifaceted problem that isn’t straightforward or easy to solve. A combination of treatments will be the most likely outcome.
You are your teenager’s greatest ally and advocate. With your help, and the help of professionals, they can overcome their depression.
Tyler Jacobson is a husband, father, and freelance writer with experience with organisations that help troubled teens and parents. His areas of focus include parenting, addiction, mental illness, and issues facing teenagers today. Follow Tyler on: Twitter
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