We could all have a better place to call home if we learned how to be kind to people around us, even though learning compassion and supporting other people doesn’t come naturally to all of us. However, we can learn and be better individuals every day.
“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” While this statement seems simple enough, it carries a lot of weight. Life is hard. We’re all busy, trying to get to our goals and work hard for what we believe in. There are many opportunities to be kind in the office, with our friends, or while exploring the best online dating sites.
Sometimes, trying to be supportive or be kind the best way we know how to may be interpreted differently. But, the truth is, as long as we’re honest about our intentions, we can always learn how to be kind in ways that people will appreciate. Not everyone knows how to be supportive. But, we all can learn.
Here are a few tips on how to be emotionally supportive and kind when the people around us need it the most.
1. Validate The People In Need Of It
Do you remember the last time you went through something that almost broke you? You must have felt the need to have someone around you to talk about the problem you were facing. You might not have needed someone to fix the problem for you or magically make it disappear; all you needed was someone to be kind to you.
When people need someone to be kind, all they might want is someone to soothe them and acknowledge their disappointment or frustration. Learning how to be kind to others doesn’t always mean you have to understand the issues they’re going through or provide solutions to their problems. Providing validation means you can see their perspective.
Be kind by recognizing the distress someone else is going through. Therefore, when learning how to be kind, you should first consider offering your attentive presence and showing concern.
2. Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice
Learning how to be supportive in a relationship means you know what your boundaries are. And this isn’t limited to romantic relationships. The same principle should apply to all the relationships you’re in. Be kind enough not to tell someone how to fix a problem when they haven’t requested your advice.
Unless someone specifically and directly asks you to help them come up with a solution, don’t offer one. If they’re talking about the problem and feel like you have the right answer, the best way to be kind in such a situation would be to ask reflective questions.
Questions like, ‘have you been through this in the past? What helped? Allow someone to look into their strength rather than rely on you for solutions.
3. Build People Up
When people are going through tough times, they might face rejection or even lose their self-confidence. This might make them lose the confidence they once had in themselves. In such instances, you can be kind by complimenting them or building them up by showing them how much they mean to you.
Be kind by offering compliments that are relevant to what the other person is going through. For instance, you might remind a loved one who dwells on their parenting mistakes their kids’ exceptional qualities. Remember to be kind by ensuring you pinpoint specific strengths your loved ones have rather than showing appreciation for a skill that can apply to other people.
Remember that overdoing the compliments may make one feel you aren’t genuine and only saying what you have to so they can feel better. When you do this, you may end up making them feel uncomfortable rather than your kindness.
4. Physical Affection Is A Big Deal
Of course, you can’t show physical affection to everyone you meet. But, depending on your relationship, you can be kind to them and show your support by giving them a kiss, a hug, or a touch that shows you care. Giving someone you care for a hug after a tough conversation is a form of physical support that cements the emotional support you offered by listening.
Other than hugs, you can be kind by holding someone’s hand when they need to make a tough decision. Be kind to your partner by cuddling them when they’ve had a bad day at work. This lets them know that you understand how they feel and are ready to offer them comfort. One of the ways you can learn how to be a supportive husband during pregnancy is by cuddling your partner.
5. Don’t Brush Them Off
You can also be kind to yourself when you’re going through an unpleasant situation. While we all go through difficult situations, some are more impacting or more challenging than others. And even if you’re going through something that someone else doesn’t think is so serious, be kind enough to yourself by removing yourself from that situation.
No one can say how another person should feel about a particular situation. Own your feelings and acknowledge that your situation should not be compared to another. While we might try to be kind by comparing the degree of our difficulties to other people’s issues as an attempt at consolation, it isn’t right. People have a right to be upset about what they feel.
6. Support Other People’s Decision Making Processes
There are plenty of “be kind” quotes we can all learn. For instance, you can’t be kind by thinking other people are wrong in the solutions they’ve thought up for themselves. Don’t be doubtful that their solutions will not work.
Unless their solution or decision-making process puts them or other people in danger, offer them implementation support rather than telling them how their plan could go wrong. Be kind enough to realize that just because you would have chosen a different one doesn’t mean they’re wrong in any way.
You don’t know whether or not things will work out. Be kind enough to let them make their own mistakes so they can learn from them. Don’t tell them what you think they should have done; this will only invalidate any support you had previously offered.
Only offer some guidance if they need it and be kind enough not to respond with negative criticism or harsh comments when they ask you what you think about their plan.
Conclusion
Choosing to be kind in a world where being selfish is hailed is a bold approach to facing life’s problems. So if you had to pick one good deed for the day, how would you choose to be kind and rewind to the people around you?
Support Our Campaign
We rely on the generosity of the public to fund our work and so far together we have achieved great things! Please do continue to support us so we can provide future generations in Ireland with the resources to recognise and talk about their emotions, and equip them to navigate the ever-changing world around them as they grow
