“He doesn’t be well in himself” – A statement used by Irish people to comfortably identify a person who is suffering from mental fitness related problems.
Make no mistake; my use of the term “Mental fitness” does not derive from a lack of comfort of the term mental health. Coming from a GAA background my logic is simple, mental fitness implies that our state of mentality must be worked on to maintain or build it up. Frequently. There are no once off solutions.
Everybody has different levels of physical fitness and so similarly everybody’s mental fitness differs and changes. At times we are subject to the mental fitness of others; positive people can be radiators of good emotion while negative people can act as drains. Discussing mental health almost immediately associates people to or provokes thoughts of mental illness such as depression. I have never suffered from a mental illness per se. If mental fitness had a BMI scale, mine would have been in the slightly overweight category. Never obese enough for intervention but enough that I knew it needed to change. As unfamiliar and uncomfortable as change can be, it is often how we learn to adapt that teaches us the most about life. There are a number of different characteristics that we as humans can develop to support and sustain our mental fitness.
The first is gratitude. Throughout generations we have been programmed to adapt negative thinking. We complain, “The weather is always miserable”; we judge “Look at the state of your one” and we begrudge “Isn’t it well for you to be going on a swanky holiday.” The grass is always greener and hardship is always on our side of the fence. Negative thinking leads to negative emotions leads to negative actions and so the vicious circle continues.
Newer generations must aim to break this vicious circle. The endless rain makes the waters so fresh and the grass so green in this beautiful country. That person whose style does not conform to your social norm? They are happy and that is all that matters. The person going on a swanky holiday understands how to enjoy their life. Mindfulness thought me to live in the moment and enjoy it. In the morning I remind myself that “Because I am alive, anything is possible” (Thich Nhat Hanh). I acknowledge the positive moments in my day like chatting with colleagues or belting out Justin Bieber in the car. These moments may not exist tomorrow so it is best to cherish them today. In the words of my man Bieber “The grass aint always green on the other side, it’s green where you water it”.
The second is resilience. “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I – I took the one less travelled by and it has made all the difference” (Robert Frost; The Road Not Taken). You can never possibly predict what life will throw at you. When born we did not receive a map. You will face challenges, obstacles, negativity, judgement, prejudice, discrimination, sadness, suffering and death because we are human.
With each challenge or obstacle you have two choices; shy away from it or accept it head on. If you stumble and you fall on this less travelled road you must always be willing to get back up. Once I understood that the person I had become was as a result of the challenges I faced and how I adapted, I began to grow as a person. Life could be easy for everyone but then we would learn nothing about ourselves. From negative experiences such as death we can learn to truly appreciate the life we are given and the influence of the lives of others. Emotions such as stress, worry and anger have no part to play when you develop resilience because you accept all difficult challenges as opportunities to grow.
Strong mental fitness requires the development of confidence. Let’s be clear, confidence is developed, it is not something that you are bestowed with. Confidence develops the more comfortable you are with who you are becoming. The person you become depends on the morals and values you uphold. My parents raised me as a Roman Catholic and although my holiness has a lot to be desired some of the literature can be viewed as positive guidelines. Though shall not bear false witness against thy neighbour. Honour thy mother and thy father. Do not covet thy neighbour’s goods. The one that strikes me most is The Golden Rule; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. In life, I aspire to be a person who is honest, hardworking, caring and kind because I hope that the people I meet along the way will be the same. Forget about Karma, I learned that behaving in a way which I believe is “appropriate” to someone with a negative attitude is to not be true to the person I’m working on becoming.
Do not misunderstand me. I am most definitely not perfect. Mental fitness is not a diet, there are no quick fixes. Sometimes my thoughts are negative which affect my emotions but I acknowledge this and try to stop it there. I have days where I am in bad humour or have a rant and have to stop and ask myself is this constructive. I surround myself with good people who support me. I believe in building up others. I hate change and yet I constantly adapt to it. Sometimes I think if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. Other times I think if it’s meant to be it’s up to me. Mental health is a state of well-being. Mental fitness is the battle of becoming a positive me.
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