My breast cancer journey started back in September 2013. So as I write this article I am now ‘cancer free’ for almost 4 years – but looking back it seems like that was a different world and I was a different person.
From the darkness of diagnosis through the tiredness and terror of treatment to the elation of eventually completing treatment in one piece and with a very positive prognosis for the future, this cancer rollercoaster journey is nearing its completion.
Just 8 months more and in October 2017 I will celebrate that elusive milestone of the 5 year’s survival mark – which will then put me in the same risk category as any other woman of my age. On the face of it I’ll be back to where I started – even though it feels like a million miles from where it all began.
And what a journey… finding a lump when washing one cold dark morning, to formal diagnosis (after mammogram; ultrasound; biopsy) of two invasive, malignant (lobular and ductal) tumours in my right breast and a third on my lymph nodes; mastectomy surgery to remove my right breast – to 4 months of chemo followed by 6 weeks of radio therapy; back into hospital for a third surgery to reconstruct my right breast and finally ongoing hormone treatment, my cancer journey took lots of twists and turns.
I seem to have pushed to the back of my mind the bad days – the shock of the diagnosis; the concern about how to tell our kids; the worry about how my sisters and brothers would react having lost our mum to cancer; the long waiting game to hear the results from the myriad scans and tests; the tears which would not stop falling during those early, scary weeks; the theft of my femininity; the fatigue and constipation and early menopause, and yet looking back, by far the stand out thoughts and emotions are the positive aspects of this journey. The unwavering love and support shown by family, friends, neighbours, colleagues; the laughs with my sisters when choosing my wig; the trust in the amazing doctors, nurses and specialists; the daily hugs from my kids; the unselfish sharing of my load by my husband and best friend; the overwhelming hope and conviction that I was going to get through this, the incredible gratitude that I am still above ground.
I know I am here today because when I found my lump, I knew to go straight to my GP. I’d heard that early detection is important in cancer but I hadn’t appreciated just how vital this would be for me.
Having come through my treatment and returned to work, I joined the Marie Keating Foundation and have since learned so much more about breast cancer and how nowadays, 82% of us will meet that all important 5 year milestone. That is something to be celebrated but I have also learned that my lifestyle choices will have an important bearing on my physical and emotional health as a cancer survivor. So eating a healthier diet; drinking less alcohol; making sure I get my exercise in on a regular basis are all important.
We all need ongoing support in making that transition from a cancer patient to a cancer survivor. I will never forget how some friends and family members were so incredibly kind to me over that period. So if you know someone who has recently been diagnosed, here are some suggestions:
- Just be there: Listen and empathise. Remember your friend can be oscillating between shock; disbelief; denial; anger and resentment; blame and guilt or a combination of emotions. They need to know that they can show their emotions freely and that you really care. Don’t pretend to know what and how they are feeling but offer a shoulder to cry on and bucket loads of empathy e.g. when going for walks or sharing a cuppa
- Offer some practical support – e.g. lifts to the hospital; help collecting their children; cooking a few dinners and dropping them off; doing the weekly shop. They may feel embarrassed to accept help at first but be firm that you want to help in a way that suits them
- Offer to help your friend’s partner, children and family too. They are going through a very scary time and are often afraid to show their real concerns directly to your friend so they really need some support too
The Marie Keating Foundation’s Survive & Thrive workshop programme helps cancer survivors to make the transition to the ‘new normal’ after their cancer treatment with practical advice and support on a range of issues such as diet; physical exercise; emotional wellbeing etc.
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