Feel the fear and do it anyway – 3 tips to help you find courage

feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway-3-tips-to-help-you-find-courage

I am very lucky to be surrounded by courageous people, from whom I learn every day. They give me the inspiration to become a better version of myself. Watching their lives makes me want to push myself that little more, in order to develop my own courage.

When we think of courage, we usually conjure up an image of someone who risks their life and limb for other people. I would call this Courage with a capital “C” that we hear about on the news. However, let’s not forget about the courage with a small “c”, which we practice every day. We don’t hear about it in the media often, but it’s just as important. Researchers found that there are three main forms of courage that we practice every day: physical, moral and psychological. Let’s look at each one of them, in turn.

Physical Courage

My cousin is a physically courageous person. Ever since she was a child, she enjoyed pushing her body to the limits. When I think of her as a teenager, I see alpine climbing harness, crampons, ice axe. She has climbed high mountains, such as Mount Blanc, and deep Tatra caves. Ten years ago she got into paragliding, which is one of the most dangerous sports that requires incredible physical courage. Wrapped up in a harness and suspended below a fabric wing, she pushes herself off a cliff into the air and flies over the valleys. A couple of years ago, her wing folded mid-air resulting in her falling down, with an incredible speed, to the ground from the altitude of 100m. The tree broke her fall, which is why she is still with us today. The next day, without hesitation, she was back free flying over Pyrenees. My cousin is a great example of someone with physical courage.

Moral Courage

Another form of courage is moral. A close friend of mine is vegan. She stopped eating meat as a teenager, when she saw a neighbour’s cow on a field and thought of her dying just because humans wanted to eat her meat. She believed it was unfair, so she stopped eating meat to reduce some of the animal killings in the world. As a young adult she got involved in the Irish Vegetarian Society fighting for the animal rights. Soon, her beliefs evolved and now, she is one of the most morally courageous people I have ever known. She maintains her high standards and authenticity, regardless of who she is with and what other people might think of her. At the same time, she is respectful of their opinions, but never compromises on issues that are important to her. She is a great example of a morally courageous person.

Psychological Courage

Finally, another form of courage is psychological. This is an ability to withstand psychological discomfort and thrive despite it. My fiancé is one of the most psychologically courageous people I have known. Last year, he was facing a lot of adversity, yet in the midst of it, he displayed an incredible psychological courage. Some of us, when undergoing similar stress, may find it hard to keep our chins up. He suffered, yet was able to put his worries aside and live his life to the full. In fact, the adversity has become a wonderful spring-board for our happy life today. It brought us even closer together, helped him create a circle of trustworthy friends around him, made him look at the world differently and become an even better version of himself. This is what psychological courage does, allows us to grow and even thrive post-adversity.

Courage Interventions – 3 great tips!

So what type of courage do you have or which one of them would you like to develop? According to the researchers, courage involves two independent processes. The first one is experiencing fear and the second one is willingness to act despite our fear. When practicing courage we need to feel the fear but do it anyway.

1. 20 seconds of courage

It may be hard to be always courageous, but much easier to practice courage for a short while. When you are about to do something but fear the consequences of your action, become courageous for just 20 seconds and just do it.

2. Practice acting “as if”

When you are facing something challenging, consider what other courageous people would do. Have an image of someone, whose courage you admire, and act just “as if” you were courageous yourself.

3. Focus on the outcomes

When you really want something but the fear stops you from doing it, just focus on the outcomes, especially the best case scenario of what is going to happen, when you feel your fear but do it anyway.

So, don’t be afraid to grab life by its horns. After all, we have nothing to fear but the fear itself. Just think of how wonderful you will feel afterwards.

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Article by Dr. Jolanta Burke
Psychologist specialising in Positive Psychology. She is a senior lecturer and associate programme leader for Masters in Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology at the University of East London, which is one of the two main universities around the world that taches positive psychology. Jolanta’s mission in life is to help people understand and use positive psychology effectively in their lives. She appears regularly in the media, writes extensively for both magazines and newspapers, such as the Guardian and the Irish Independent, and frequently speaks on radio and at various events around the world. Recently, she was acknowledged by the Irish Times as one of 30 people who make Ireland happier. Her latest book "Happiness after 30: The paradox of aging” is available on Amazon. jolantaburke.com.
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