If Christmas is so merry, then why am I feeling so bad?

if-christmas-is-so-merry-then-why-am-i-feeling-so-bad

Research shows that our life satisfaction and emotional well-being is usually lower around Christmas in comparison to other times of a year. If you don’t find Christmas so merry, don’t worry, you’re not alone!

So many of us get caught up in merry Christmas celebrations: meeting friends, buying gifts, attending work parties, listening to carol singers and drinking mulled wine. People tell us that Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, a time to catch up with family and friends, who we have not seen in a long time; a time to indulge on a scrumptious dinner; a joyous time filled with gifts, laughter, hugs and music. In other words, when thinking of Christmas, we imagine a perfect picture from a typical family Christmas movie with a happy ending. Real life, however, is sometimes very different.

One of my friends is a Christmas grinch. He does not like Christmas and feels proud to admit it. Despite not liking it, every year he dressed up as Santa to keep his kids happy; helped his wife cook the dinner, to keep her happy; and entertained his in-laws when they stayed over for Christmas, to keep them happy. However, Christmas did not make him happy at all.

If you are one of those people who do not find Christmas altogether enjoyable, do not despair, because you are not alone. In fact, research has shown that Christmas is a life event that may cause feelings of stress comparable to the stress we experience when we do not get a good night sleep for a few nights. When we experience temporary insomnia, we feel disoriented, deflated, exhausted, sad, irritable, fed up and stressed. Does this sum up, in some way, how you may be feeling around Christmas? Festivities can be tiring and very stressful. According to one survey, Christmas was considered one of the top 50 most stressful events of our lives.

Many factors can play a significant role in our feelings of stress over Christmas. Firstly, your stress may be due to money, or rather its lack of. Christmas is associated with additional expense, which is sometimes so significant that we get into debt for it. After all, how many of us dread our credit card bill landing with a thump as it falls through letter box in January. Even if we do not buy any presents, we usually spend money on extra special food and drink. Stress associated with money cannot be overestimated.

And here is also where the next problem begins. Christmas is inevitably associated with overindulgence, lack of exercise, fresh air and alcohol misuse. If all these messy behaviours displayed any other times of the year make us feel miserable, why would Christmas be any different? Overeating makes us sluggish; lack of exercise is like taking depressants, makes us feel very bad; finally, alcohol misuse messes up with our moods. To sum up, the essence of Christmas, can also have a very negative influence on our physical and mental health. Under these circumstances, is it any wonder that Christmas can sometimes make us feel bad?

Furthermore, in a large scale study carried out across 11 European countries researchers found that our life satisfaction and emotional well-being is usually lower around Christmas in comparison to other times of a year. In other words, Christmas could possibly make us less happy!

So, how could you make this festive season happier?

How about you do something different this Christmas? Why not change the food you eat to healthier options or even simply, reduce your portion size? Same applies to what you drink. Maker healthier choices where and when you can and you will thank yourself the following day.

Also, try to get out at least once a day for some fresh air. You’ll enjoy those mince pies all the more for it! Or how about you participate with your family or friends in a charity walk on St. Stephen’s Day? Or, why not get away for Christmas (maybe future Christmases at this stage……) and turn it into a winter holiday, just like my friend, the Christmas grinch did, who now truly enjoys his Christmas with his family.

Maybe get out and visit someone you know is having a hard time, do something special for them. We all know that doing something kind for another boosts our own happiness greatly. A sense of loneliness can be particularly widespread at Christmas and cultivating community in our own lives as well as others can give us a lift.

Make this Christmas a memorable time by turning it into the Christmas you like the best. After all, it’s your Christmas, too.

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Article by Dr. Jolanta Burke
Psychologist specialising in Positive Psychology. She is a senior lecturer and associate programme leader for Masters in Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology at the University of East London, which is one of the two main universities around the world that taches positive psychology. Jolanta’s mission in life is to help people understand and use positive psychology effectively in their lives. She appears regularly in the media, writes extensively for both magazines and newspapers, such as the Guardian and the Irish Independent, and frequently speaks on radio and at various events around the world. Recently, she was acknowledged by the Irish Times as one of 30 people who make Ireland happier. Her latest book "Happiness after 30: The paradox of aging” is available on Amazon. jolantaburke.com.
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