“My world
As the monday fears start to reappear
The monster comes alive in my head
I shiver.. I shake .. I hide it … I go to bed.
Fake the sickness a day or two will do
Play the game, tell myself the truth will come out I haven’t the strength to confess maybe take the approach to careless.
Keep the head low, laugh at the “so called jokes” go with the flow . Blend in. NEVER reveal me this way they can never win.
Ignore it, don’t worry about it , remember words can’t hurt … so why when I think about them I cut way to deep.
They now hide secretly underneath my sweatshirt.
Be happy, work hard (question to myself)
What can I give. What can I trade
I’m ok in school maybe a good grade ???
Hand over the pencil case it’s only the 4th one this year I will need to replace.
Way better than last year each case taken with a silent fit.
A fear I will never forgive, another emotion to add to the list
Stand up for myself. Get physical if needs be …. not my style but don’t I deserve to walk free.
The cool school gang. Is it ever possible to be the yin to the yang.
Talk to my parents they’ll have my back
But are their questions and sadness worth a public lash back.
I don’t think I’m ready for that attack ??
School the best days of your life
Not for me …
every day a mental and physical fight.
Why am I always branded the looser.
I will never be cool enough to hang outside the local boozer
Sunday again …
tomorrow will come way to fast
Monday’s are my future but I will step into the past.
I know the truth will set me free but now it feels like I’m going down in history
A student with great potential
But always an absentee …”