Challenge yourself and watch your life change for the better

‘New year’s resolution’ is another word for a ‘new year’s decision’. We decide that in the new year we will lose weight, eat healthier, see our friends more often, find a job we like. A decision is an important step in a process of making a change in our lives. Coming to a decision takes time, but it does not necessarily motivate us to an action.

Decision does not make us get out of bed, it only suggests to us that we want to do it. Similarly, a new year resolution does not make a change happen, it only informs us that we want a change to happen, which is why new year resolutions are often unsuccessful.

On the other hand, consider a challenge. Challenge has little to do with decisions, or resolutions. Challenge is a dare, something that makes us a little uncomfortable, yet courageous, at the same time. We feel uncertainty while we carry it out, nonetheless, we do it anyway.

For example, we don’t believe we would be able to get this ideal job, but challenge ourselves to send a CV out anyway, just to see what happens. We are not quite sure if we can follow a healthy eating plan to lose weight, but challenge ourselves to eating an extra apple, or broccoli today, and see what happens. We are not sure if we can tackle our depression this year, but challenge ourselves to sign up to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) programme or read a book about depression anyway, just so that we take one small step towards where we want to be. The difference between a resolution and a challenge is what makes a challenge more resolute. The more we challenge ourselves, the more decisive we get about our destination.

Richard Branson is one of the most successful and inspirational business people, who is well-known for taking a road less travelled. In order to celebrate his 65^th birthday, he decided to challenge himself 65 times this year. Challenges came flying to him from all around the world, from which he selected his favourite and continues to do them while he changes his life.

I liked Branson’s challenges and thought I would do some of my own this year. Challenge seems more effective than a resolution, or decision. When we make a decision and, for whatever reason, we don’t do what we decided to do, we feel bad about ourselves, we feel like we’ve disappointed ourselves by giving up on our resolution. On the other hand, when we challenge ourselves, we do it, even though we don’t feel like doing it.

This morning I challenged myself to go to the gym, even though I didn’t feel like it. It is not my resolution, just a challenge, the objective of which is to improve my life.

What are you going to challenge yourself on today?

By Dr. Jolanta Burke

Psychologist specialising in Positive Psychology. She is a senior lecturer and associate programme leader for Masters in Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology at the University of East London, which is one of the two main universities around the world that taches positive psychology. Jolanta’s mission in life is to help people understand and use positive psychology effectively in their lives. She appears regularly in the media, writes extensively for both magazines and newspapers, such as the Guardian and the Irish Independent, and frequently speaks on radio and at various events around the world. Recently, she was acknowledged by the Irish Times as one of 30 people who make Ireland happier. Her latest book "Happiness after 30: The paradox of aging” is available on Amazon. jolantaburke.com.