Routine, structure, time-management: all good for human effectiveness and efficiency. Great. But not so easy to sustain in lockdown.
How can we run our lives on the same tracks we used BC (before Covid-19)? We can’t. We have to derail ourselves onto a new set.
Most of us aren’t working, some of us are living on top of each other in one household, all of us are in survival mode. This is surely as unprecedented as the virus itself. Socially, we usually have a mix of immediate family, extended family, friends, work colleagues and acquaintances; and daily people-contact out in our communities. This is the normal melting pot of human interaction in which we do very well.
Positive Psychology points out that belonging in groups, our tribal instinct, is what makes humans happy, thrive and flourish.
So what happens when this network of societal organisation is pulled out from under us like a tablecloth being ripped out from beneath a full dinner service? Cracked plates ensue….
Yes, we have virtual contact. Buckets of it. But contented and happy lives thrive on balance and we’re now totally out of whack. Life has become a hall of distorted mirrors which makes it difficult to find our fulcrum to ensure equilibrium. We have globally, and collectively, lost our bearings.
We are not free to come and go as we please, however, the reality is we are in lockdown; we have to stay put. Despite what some are saying about the infringement on our basic human rights, we have to do what we are told. Our lives literally depend on it.
How to cope though?
By embracing, not resisting, this ‘new normal’, for the time being.
We have no other choice if we want to survive this pandemic.
The key words here are ‘time being’.
Nothing lasts forever, according to Buddhist philosophy, and now, more than ever, we need to grasp this as our life-line, not as a fatalistic, somewhat depressing, concept.
If nothing lasts forever then, ergo, ‘this too shall pass’.
This pandemic WILL play itself out.
We WILL gain immunity and have access to antivirals and a vaccine.
We have to hold onto the fact that ‘nothing is as sure as time’; it ticks on, and we WILL have our normal existence and freedoms returned to us.
We have to hold onto, ironically, the impermanent nature of things.
This is the bright side, this is good news!
In the meantime, what to do to survive this period?
First of all, we need to fully comprehend, then accept, lockdown. This is difficult as there is no definitive end-date. When we get to one, it’s extended out to another one. It’s like being on a mountain hike, seeing your destination on reaching the top of a hill, then seeing three more peaks you have to scale before you get to it.
This is not good for the human psyche.
But there are ways to trick it.
The main thing is to ‘keep yourself occupied’.
However…..
There is a new stressor coming at us from every, usually screen-based, angle: the relentless, 24 hour, exhortation to ‘be doing something’. Constant occupation and perpetual productivity is the new craze. Shades of Orwellian ‘1984’ here…..
This is not a good idea.
Yes, you need to occupy your time but no, it’s not a 24-hour-a-day sprint. This virus is making us run a slow and steady marathon.
Just take a normal day BC: you got up, went to work/ school/ college, dropped the kids to school, did exercise classes, played sport, went to the gym, went shopping, met friends, socialised, went on holidays, the list is endless…..
Now you are doing very little of this.
We’re living in a parallel universe to what we are used to and it’s scary. Add the stress of less money, job insecurity, anxiety over our own health and that of our loved ones, and you have a cocktail of concerns.
So you need to construct your ‘New Normal’.
How?
- Set alarms to get up anyway.
Getting up late shortens the day, doesn’t it?
No, it’s playing havoc with your natural circadian rhythms.
- You’re maybe overindulging in food and drink which is not helping your mood or self-esteem. Try and moderate this.
- Recognise that we’re in a type of ‘snow-days’ period: a great novelty we enjoy as there is nothing else to do. But with real snow-days, there is an inevitable end-date; by the time we get to it we are crying out for company, freedom of movement and getting back to our normal routines.
Really we are just in a ‘snow-day loop’ that isn’t ending any time soon, with the honeymoon period well and truly over. But end it will.
Try the ‘get up, make your bed and plan your day’ plan:
- This is as simple as mapping out, on an A4 sheet of paper, your daily 12 hours (stick it on a clip-board to make it look official!), starting with ‘get up, make bed’- tick it off.
- Then eating: breakfast, lunch, dinner – tick;
- 45 mins exercise: – walk, run, cycle, skate-board – tick;
- Creative time: crafting, art, write a journal, colour a colouring-book, jigsaw – tick, tick, tick.
- Gardening: if you have one, and the weather allows, or just tend to your houseplants, herb pots, window boxes.
- Video chats: you can fill a whole weeks-worth with family and friends!
- Self care: make washing a ritual, take baths you didn’t have time for, home-colour your hair if you were lucky enough to procure some hard-to-get ‘Nice n’ Easy’.
- Do family group activities balanced with time on your own.
- Be military in your precision about how you consume news: only allow one or two short periods per day, only from reliable sources, and absolutely not at bedtime. Take a whole day off the news every few days!
- Be vigilant about screen-time; time yourself and stick to short periods.
- If you do feel anxious, sad or irritated, allow yourself to feel this and go with it, being compassionate with yourself. Then move onto something else; get out in your 2km radius of air (if you’re not cocooning), be with nature, listen to rainforest meditations. Calm yourself as you would a child.
- Tick it all off, no matter how small an activity. It will give you a sense of achievement, a structure, routine, and will absorb you.
Absorbing activity is the cornerstone of Positive Psychology – doing stuff that will put you ‘in flow’ – i.e., you are so engaged in the task you forget to worry about what else is happening.
Some days you will do better than others. Allow this.
Write off a day, if you have to, as a time-out from routine, keeping a loose one going so it’s easier to hop back onto the structure next day. Less ticks, but ticks for all that.
Really, if you’ve managed to get up, make your bed, wash and eat you’ve achieved everything!
Then, congratulate yourself!
Above all, be your own best supporter, and keep reminding yourself, as a mantra, ‘This Too Shall Pass’.
It may not be easy, but try to not make it any more difficult. It’ll be better for everyone when, not if, we enter the next phase: AC – after Covid-19.
Caveat: This is an opinion piece talking generally, and positively, about what little actions we can take to help ourselves in this unprecedented time. WLC is aware of, and acknowledges, that people are going through major trauma, illness, loss, grief, uncertainty, psychological distress and may also be in highly volatile family situations. Please seek all the help that’s available as supports on this website. Don’t suffer in silence. Stay safe and well.