When we can’t reach out for help, they reach in and mend our soul
According to the Central Statistics office, in 2016 there was 337 deaths in Ireland by Suicide. This is a rate of 9.2% per 100,000 of the population. What is more frightening and a consistent trend is that 80% of these deaths were male. In 2017 we saw a decrease in deaths caused by suicide, with a figure of 392, however again the ratio of male to female was hugely higher.
Taking it back to last year in 2018 from January to March, deaths due to accidents, suicides and external causes was 272, with 69 of those deaths being categorised as suicide.
Although it is important to acknowledge that we are indeed Human beings and not defined by a statistic or mental health disorder, the rates have been decreasing and this is primarily due to the consistent support of Psychotherapists and Counsellors. What many people do not understand is that not only are these professionals supporting those struggling with their mental health on so many levels, they are also changing society as a whole. Their guidance and manner in which they support so many clients has a ripple effect into society with the results being that we no longer feel it is a necessity to keep our most disturbing thoughts and depressed emotions trapped inside every organ in our bodies.
From a personal Perspective I had quite a traumatic childhood growing up. I would have seen things and experienced things that I should never have experienced. As a child, I didn’t know any different. I thought that was the norm and the way life was supposed to be. It was only when I grew up, I realised that is not the case and the serious effects certain situations like that can have on you.
Since the age of fourteen, I have suffered from suicidal thoughts and tendencies of self-harm. All these struggles were silenced for so many years and no one would have ever guessed that the girl whose nickname was ‘Smiley O’Reilly’ could ever experience any emotional pain. Due to my upbringing, I always thought I was to blame for everything. I needed to punish myself. It was nobody else’s fault but my own. I had been struggling in silence for so long. I was in complete conflict with myself. I eventually hit rock bottom and attempted to take my own life in June 2018. I felt no human being on this earth will ever understand me or relieve any of my pain that riddled through my blood. I knew I had so many friends and family who supported me, but again It was the fear of admitting I was struggling in the first place and not receiving the appropriate and professional support off friends and family members. After realising how close I was to knocking on deaths door, I really felt I had a duty to myself and those closest to me to reach out for help and live a life of happiness.
We often encourage those suffering to reach out and ask for help, however many are unaware of how emotionally draining and frightening ‘reaching out’ for help is. This is majorly due to two barriers: 1) Embarrassment or in denial that the individual is suffering, 2) We live in a society where stigma greets you at every corner street. This is where the psychotherapists and counsellors step in. When we struggle to reach out, they reach in to our hearts, patch it up and listen intensively without any inch of judgement. Each psychotherapist observes the client and choses what they feel is the best therapy style to use and work with on the client. Whether it be CBT or compassion therapy, when it comes down to the details the key skills they always show are sincere compassion towards the client, they Educate the client on perhaps why they are feeling the way they are, or what may be ‘triggering’ them. The response to this is that once the client is aware of this, and understand why these complications are occurring they may take a different perspective on their struggles and become more comfortable with who they are and what their mental health struggles are. Other skills therapists and counsellors display are consistently allowing the client to feel understood and listened to without any judgment, they often show clients that there is hope by reminding them of their qualities and sometimes they may even keep the client alive. I know they kept me alive on numerous of occasions.
Furthermore the demeanour in which the therapist or counsellor engages with the client goes an awful long way than just the room they are both sitting in. What the clients feel and hear in each session is the real and true contributor that allows so many of the Irish population to own their story and become comfortable with their struggles. If the therapist or counsellor constantly responds in a non judgmental manner and encourages them on their bravery or courage for seeking help and honesty this will allow the client to hopefully realise and understand that it really is Ok not to be Ok. It is the therapists and counsellors that are reinforcing that we are all only human beings, and furthermore that we all have a story that can save and inspire so many others who are walking a thin rope in todays society. Clients replicate this kindness and compassion shown into society. They seek direction and leadership from the therapist and once given the right path to hope and the leadership skills are passed on, they have the bravery to walk and talk along the Dublin cobbled streets with comfort and even pride. I am very fortunate to have worked with a few therapists who have reminded me of who I am as a human being, what I can offer this world, and that hope and happiness will always be an option on my table. It may take time, but it will happen. They may only be split seconds of happiness, but nonetheless they mean everything and keep me alive. So often we hear how bad the mental health system is in Ireland, and at times, and for some it may be, but I for one have been so lucky. My mental health team have been absolutely brilliant and at the moment I am working with a fantastic Clinical Psychologist who inspires me so much and reminds me of my own strength and bravery. She recently said something to me, that now I wish I had of known and believed throughout my childhood, teenage years and adult life.
She said ‘It’s not your fault’ But she said it with such conviction as if it were true.
And it got me thinking maybe it was true.
I don’t know if it was the fact that someone with a professional with so much experience said this to me, or the fact that someone who I admired a lot said those words, I swear hearing those words cut right through my soul. It kept me alive.
Psychotherapists and Counsellors never get the full credit they deserve. They are the change makers in todays society. They are the main driver behind so many in todays society talking openly about mental health. Therapists and counsellors are always learning, society is always changing, but the one component that always remains constant is the unconditional compassion, understanding, kindness and inspiration shown by the professionals in this world. The Irish Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy have over 3,700 registered members, these are the human beings that are paving the road for an Irish society that slowly but surely are becoming more open about talking mental health.
Here’s to the Professionals who give the weary souls in this world hope and inspiration to go on and own their own story with the aim to help so many others suffering in silence.