Entering into a relationship with someone requires you to be open, honest, and supportive of your partner. While these may sound simple enough, for those coping with anxiety it can be quite difficult to not only deal with their own issues, but also still be there for their partner. In fact, in many cases anxiety can end up killing the magic and possibly the relationship.
So, how is it possible to find ways to cope with your anxiety, control it, and even decrease it – all while having enough left over to love your partner? The good news is that it’s possible, but it takes understanding from both people and a commitment to give your own health as much attention as you give your partner.
Here are a number of tips you can use that can help the situation.
Provide the support your partner needs
Despite your own anxiety, it’s important your partner knows they can still rely on you for emotional support. What this means is that you offer that ear to listen to, you show them affection and gratitude, and take an interest in their life. This doesn’t mean your own problems are fixed and no longer exist, but it’s about recognising the fact that your partner has their own life and their own insecurities as well.
Of course, this tip can be difficult to follow at times, especially when you’re feeling mentally and physically drained. Here’s the thing though, by being there for your partner they will appreciate it, and you’ll also have something to feel good about because you know you’re being a good and caring partner.
Share your thoughts – both good and bad
It’s important you also trust your partner enough that you can be open with them. You should be able to share your thoughts both good and bad, without fear of judgement. When you do open up to your partner, it’s important they understand they don’t have to “fix” things. Just being there, listening, and supporting you is usually the best thing they can offer.
Sharing your feelings, fears, worries, and anxiety with your partner and having them be a receptive audience will help you to feel closer to them. Feeling closer to them makes it a whole lot easier to connect.
Don’t let anxiety cause selfishness
One of the biggest problems with anxiety is that it can cause a person to become pretty self-absorbed or even selfish. They can understandably get wrapped up in their own fears, worries, and stress and tend to forget about everything else and everyone else around them. From your partner’s standpoint, it can feel as though you’re ignoring them or shutting them out. Obviously, this isn’t the kind of result you want to create. This kind of reaction from your partner can also lead to resentment towards you, which is a major red flag in any relationship.
So, how can you make sure you aren’t being overly self-absorbed? You may find that it helps to remind yourself to step outside your own world. Ask about your partner’s day, feelings, and worries and make sure that you aren’t just making everything about you. This is healthier for you and your partner too.
Don’t allow anxiety to stop you from having fun
Many people who suffer from anxiety find it hard to let loose, relax, and have fun. Of course, these are all things that any healthy relationship should share together. You never want to reach the point where your anxiety dictates whether or not you have fun and feel joy.
A good habit to get into is living in the moment. Sure, your anxiety will still be there and the issues contributing to it will still exist, but learning how to live in the moment and take joy in that particular moment is healthy and freeing.
What can you do to change?
If you’re tired of anxiety ruling your life, and you see that your relationship is starting to suffer because of it, it’s really time to take control. While the above-mentioned tips are important and things you can work on as a couple, there are also other techniques that you can use for yourself that will help to control and hopefully lessen your anxiety.
- Work out regularly – This is perhaps one of the best ways to combat anxiety. Make sure you work out at least three to four times a week as it releases endorphins, which help you to feel good. Find an exercise that works for you and do it often.
- Practice meditation – This is another incredibly effective tool when it comes to fighting anxiety. Meditation focuses on healthy breathing, which can tone down your anxiety in a big way.
- The power of positive thinking – There is also something to be said about the power of positive thinking. If you start believing in yourself and looking for the positive spin on things, it’s only a matter of time before your whole way of looking at things shifts.
- Reach out and get professional help. Talking to a therapist could be of huge benefit to you to help guide you through a period in life. Find someone in your locality and get the help you deserve, we all need to reach out and get help at different points in our lives. Take care.
Help information
If you need help please talk to friends, family, a GP, therapist or one of the free confidential helpline services. For a full list of national mental health services see yourmentalhealth.ie.
- Samaritans 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
- Pieta House National Suicide Helpline 1800 247 247 or email mary@pieta.ie – (suicide prevention, self-harm, bereavement) or text HELP to 51444 (standard message rates apply)
- Aware 1800 80 48 48 (depression, anxiety)
If living in Ireland you can find accredited therapists in your area here: