A Lust For Life

Exam Stress Management Course Week 5: Top tips for bringing “MY OWN” game

This is week 5 of Dr. Malie’s A Lust for Life online Exam Stress Management course for Junior and Leaving Cert students and parents. Here is Week 1 “Mastering the game of exams”, Week 2 “Your BODY as a vehicle to your dreams”, Week 3 “Is it FACT or OPINION”?, and Week 4 “Is my BEHAVIOUR serving my goals?”, if you missed them.

“The Leaving Cert does not define your life, so give it your best shot and make sure to follow your passion in life #lifeistooshort” (Please Talk.org).

Less than 1 week until the exams and you are probably really feeling the pressure and wondering how things are going to pan out for you. Everyone including you, your teachers, your classmates, and your parents has been building up to this moment for what seems like eternity. The time has finally come to show them what you’ve got, and to get out the other side in one piece so you can truly enjoy this summer of fun and hopefully more sun.

Strive for progress not perfection

The reason I called this article top tips for bringing “my own” game is that you are a unique human being and will bring your own deck of cards to the table. You can only do your own best and this is your journey. That’s well and good you may say but what about the all important points I need to get?! Of course you need to study and show them what you are made of, but consider my message to you:

“Striving for perfection will put more pressure on you, which can stress you out and affect your performance. There is no college course or career worth damaging your mental health for. Work hard for your dreams; there are loads of ways to get there. It will all work out in the end. Most of all, #mindyourself and #carveoutyourownpath”.  

Exams don’t measure your true intelligence, creativity and future success, and are not a measure of you as a human being. They are part of the “game” of life which you have to get through, and then you have your whole life to figure out what your passion is and to carve out your own path.

Action: Watch this 5 minute video by Riyadh K “Why exams don’t matter”, kindly provided to me by an inspiring Irish charity 22q11 Ireland (Thanks guys!)

OK so I wouldn’t go so far as to say that exams don’t matter at all as that would be disingenuous of me as I do agree they can be a stepping stone. However, Riyadh’s general message (bar the swearing if you’re not in to that sort of thing!) is a really good one, as it is coming from someone who has carved his own path despite not doing well in his exams.

There is so much pressure on young people as it is, that having to regurgitate a subject area in just a few short hours is not for everyone. Like many of you out there, Riyadh was bored senseless studying equations in school and really thrived when he found his passion in college as he was finally studying something he was interested in. Finding your passion and working at what you love is your ticket to happiness and wellbeing.

“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life” (Confucius).

Survival tips – “Psyching yourself up”

Almost everyone feels nervous or experiences some anxiety when faced with an exam. In order to perform well, you must be psychologically and physically prepared and alert. Below are a few survival tips adapted from Spunout.ie and highschoolblues.com to help you on the day before the exam, the night before the exam, and the day of the exam:

The day before the exam
The night before the exam
Top tips for during the exam
A word of advice for parents and close adults

Although your children are the ones who have to sit the exams, parents understandably experience a huge amount of worry at this time. Although your children are teenagers now, nothing can stop you from feeling that sense of protectiveness over them and desire for them to do well. You would literally do anything for them and just want them to be happy.

Try to remain calm and keep your expectations out of it. Support them as best you can, and make sure they are well fed and watered, and getting adequate breaks and sleep time. Make sure you mind yourself too, as having a stressed parent won’t do anyone any good!

Acknowledge their feelings they have after each exam. Ask them if there is anything you can do to help them for the next one. Offer them your perspective that the exams will be over in just a few short weeks. Let them know that you are proud of them no matter what. Help them to find something to look forward to after the exams. You are their everything, so continual words of encouragement will go a very long way!

And a final word from me to you…

It has been a pleasure writing this course for you – I hope it’s been helpful. Tune in for my pre-exam results advice in August. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you my very best. Mind yourself x

For more information on my work, go to drmaliecoyne.ie or follow me on Facebook (Dr. Malie Coyne) or on Twitter (@maliecoyne).

Listen here to Bressie and Malie’s interview on the Anton Savage Show, where Bressie shares his experience of exams and we introduce our stress management course.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is intended for information purposes only and represents solely the opinions of this author. If you are seeking help with an emotional or mental health issue, we would strongly encourage you to contact your GP and / or for you to contact support services in this link.

The information on this website is NOT a substitute for proper diagnosis, treatment or the provision of advice by an appropriate health professional.