This is the final week, week 7 of Dr. Clare’s A Lust for Life online CBT course. Here are WEEK 1 and WEEK 2 and WEEK 3 and WEEK 4 and WEEK 5 and WEEK 6 if you missed them. It’s best to follow it week by week and take your time with the processes suggested. If you have followed this course through from beginning to end, let us know how you got on.
Congratulations on making your way to the final week of this CBT blog! If you have completed all the steps along the way then hopefully you have learned something valuable that might help you achieve more balanced ways of thinking. If you missed a week or two or feel like you are not as good at some skills as you would like to be then maybe this is a good time to revisit some of the previous blogs.
The following questions are good ones to ask yourself at this stage…
- Why did I want to follow this blog to begin with?
- Have I applied myself as best I could, have I completed homework tasks, reading etc?
- Do I feel like I have been able to learn each of the skills; identifying thinking errors, catching and labelling thoughts, mindfulness, creating more balanced alternatives, identifying unhelpful core beliefs and developing healthier ones, identifying unhelpful rules I have and assumptions I make?
- Has reading the blog had an impact on how I think, feel and behave?
It’s important to recognise when you have made progress and giving yourself a helpful, encouraging pat on the back for any changes you have made is fully deserved. However, this doesn’t mean that you won’t encounter some hiccups here and there. It’s a good idea to be prepared for these, even if you can’t predict them.
The first thing to know is the difference between a lapse and a relapse. A lapse refers to times when we temporarily return to old, unhealthy ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. Lapses are common and very very normal. Often they are triggered by stress or worry, tiredness, the normal run of the mill life stuff.
A common pitfall occurs when we notice we are thinking or behaving in the way that we used to before. Sometimes the thought that this has happened leads us to believe that all is lost, all our hard work is for nothing and there is no point in trying anymore! This in fact couldn’t be further from the truth but can if left unchecked lead to a relapse. Relapses refer to occasions when we do a complete 360 and return to all our old ways of thinking, feeling and behaving where we are doing the same things we used to before we tried to change. If you are experiencing either a lapse or a relapse, use this link to identify what you want to change to drag yourself back out!
Just to reiterate, going around on the wheel of lapse, relapse recovery is not unusual or unique and the best way to cope is to plan ahead for such occasions. You can do this by following these simple tips.
1. Practice your CBT skills every single day. Thinking in a new way requires changing habits of a life-time, give yourself what you deserve which is the time investment required to do this!
2. Identify your unique early warning signs
- What situations stress you out? (arguments at home, stress at work, financial problems, the more you know about your own triggers the more aware you will be of the times you are likely to lapse)
- Check in with your mood once a day, ask yourself how you feel and notice when something is different?
- Notice when you stop practicing your CBT skills?
- Are you behaving in ways that indicates surrendering, over-compensating or avoiding unhelpful core beliefs?
3. Make a plan of action
- Remind yourself to practice your CBT skills
- Do the things that make you feel good (read a book, watch a movie, go for a run)
- Challenge yourself and develop a new skill or keep working on yourself. When we become more competent in something new or different we experience a sense of mastery which gives us a feel-good feeling!
- It’s good to talk!
- It’s an old cliché but a good one; a problem shared is usually a problem halved. Finding a few safe people you can talk to about things (by safe I mean people who will make the time to listen to you and won’t judge the things you say) can be a huge source of relief.
4. Learn from your lapses
- Every-time we lapse or relapse, we learn something new that can help us maintain our new ways of thinking and behaving in the future. Do you beat yourself up turning a lapse into a relapse? Remind yourself not to do that again in the future. What did you do that made you feel better? How did you remind yourself of the CBT skills you learned before…there’s always something to be learned from a relapse!
5. Be Kind to yourself and Reward yourself for work that you have done
Disclaimer: The information provided on this blog is intended for information purposes only and represents solely the opinions of this author. If you are seeking diagnosis or treatment of a mental health problem you should consult your GP or mental health professional. The information on this website is NOT a substitute for proper diagnosis, treatment or the provision of advice by an appropriate health professional.