‘Surviving a suicide attempt led me on an incredible journey’ – an interview with Caroline McGuigan

surviving-a-suicide-attempt-led-me-on-an-incredible-journey-an-interview-with-caroline-mcguigan
1. Why did you get involved in the area of mental health?

I’m often asked why I chose this line of work. But I didn’t – it chose me. At one point, totally unbeknownst to my family and friends – and even to myself – I fell into a cycle of anxiety, fear, phobias, and rituals that eventually led to a suicide attempt.

Surviving that was the first step on a long, painful and often terrifying journey – at rock bottom, I decided to get involved in the mental health sector. I needed to understand the treatment that was offered and not offered, medication, side effects, psychiatry and the pharma industry. Later, I decided to share my experience with service providers so we could work together.

2. Why did you decide to set up Suicide or Survive?

The experience I just described left me full of questions. What if I had had the right information? What if there were others like me? These questions led to the creation of the Eden Programme.

However, actually establishing it was a huge challenge. Suicide or Survive (SOS) exists today because I refused to stop every time a door was slammed in my face, and because family, friends, and others believed in the vision.

3. What kind of work does SOS do?

We work with people from all walks of life, in communities and workplaces. Our one-day wellness workshops teach practical tools for managing daily life, and our self-care programme helps those who are supporting others. Our two-day Wellness Recovery Action Plan helps people discover what actually works for them and come up with ways of dealing with stress factors. We also have packages for the corporate world.

What brings all these programmes together is our commitment to cultural change. For example, we want employers to truly invest in their workers – and evidence shows that it has a huge effect.

We always work in partnership, whether with the community, employers or prisons, for instance. Our service users drive our interventions because we know they’re the experts. Ultimately, we’re not in the business of saving lives – we support people to save their own.

4. What were some of the main challenges you faced early on?

Absolutely nobody in the services listened to me; I was reminded at every stage that I was just a service user. I struggled with funding and the power imbalance between service users and service providers. In short, I felt the institution closed ranks on me, leaving me utterly exhausted at times. I can now also see the challenges for those working inside the system and I’m grateful that we’re working together for change.

5. What have been some of the highlights along the way?

There are so, so many. Many times, when I broke down from pure exhaustion, a door would open where I least expected.

6. Do you think the situation in Ireland is improving in relation to mental health and wellbeing in general?

Yes and no. A lot of great people and organisations are doing fantastic work. However, collaboration still has a way to go, and people with life experience should be leading service creation and delivery. It’s not enough to just have us sit on committees – we need to be at the table when the funding decisions get taken.

It’s often still a numbers game, instead of being about cultural and generational change. People need to be able to explore different approaches at different times and be encouraged to take responsibility for their own quality of life.

7. How do you manage your own mental health?

Sometimes I rock, and others I fall flat – and by now, I’m comfortable with that. Experiencing ups and downs doesn’t make me any less of a human being, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, CEO, therapist or activist.

One thing that really works for me is to just be myself. I’ve only got a certain amount of time on this earth, and I want to feel I’ve been my authentic self – I’ve tried the other way, and it literally killed me.

On a practical level, I do transcendental meditation every morning and evening, and I love it. I also know the foods that help or hinder my mood. I watch a lot of inspirational videos, and I drink a lot of water.

I’ll admit to being a bit hit-and-miss with exercise, and I spend way too much time on social media. Let’s just say I’m a work in progress!

8. Why do you think things like meditation and mindfulness are increasingly popular?

They are 2,500 years old, and they work! Our minds are totally focused on doing rather than being – and this will catch up with us all at some point. We need to step back into the quietness we came from, and which still lives inside us.

9. Employers seem to be taking wellbeing more seriously now. Why do you think that is?

When people are extremely stressed, they find it difficult to perform to the best of their ability. A really good organisation will work with a mental health organisation and their employees on creating a lasting programme of cultural change that involves everyone.

It’s clear there is a real culture shift happening. Recently we’ve been working with companies and organisations like Sky, Paypal, Crosscare, eBay, LinkedIn, IBEC, Impact, Bank of Ireland, and the Department of Agriculture

10. How would you improve mental health services?

No more games, no more bums-on-seats approach. Work together, and inspire the next generation to fight for the change we need. Allow space for creativity, and stop looking for guarantees – they don’t exist. If our intentions are true, and if we have the wisdom, experience and training, it will work. It may not be in the way we planned – but in the end, it’s not about us, but about what the service user wants.

11. What, to you, is the meaning of life? (No pressure!)

I know I have a very blessed and abundant life, and I have to come from a place of gratitude every day. Knowing that everyone is connected gives me great strength. I know I’m capable of greatness, and also of destruction – it’s up to me to choose.

12. If you weren’t in this job what would you be doing?

I’d be a hairdresser!

Find more information on Suicide or Survive at suicideorsurvive.ie or find them on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Caroline is on Twitter at @carmcguigan

Help information

If you need help please talk to friends, family, a GP, therapist or one of the free confidential helpline services. For a full list of national mental health services see yourmentalhealth.ie.

  • Samaritans on their free confidential 24/7 helpline on 116-123, by emailing jo@samaritans.ie
  • Pieta House National Suicide Helpline 1800 247 247 or email mary@pieta.ie – (suicide prevention, self-harm, bereavement) or text HELP to 51444 (standard message rates apply)
  • Aware 1800 80 48 48 (depression, anxiety)

If living in Ireland you can find accredited therapists in your area here:

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Article by Caroline McGuigan
CEO and Founder of Suicide or Survive, a national charity that offers a range of mental health, wellbeing and suicide prevention programmes. More info at suicideorsurvive.ie. Caroline is on Twitter @carmcguigan.
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