The heart of us

the-heart-of-us

I woke up this morning and lying in bed noticed a reluctance to putting my foot on the floor. Paying attention to the feeling I remembered a pain I had felt the day before from stubbing my toe. This resistance is such a simple reaction to pain or more precisely to the memory of pain, the desire to pull away and protect. And this is what we do. We learn to protect ourselves from what we think might be painful.

From the moment we are birthed into the world and experience pain or discomfort we are tightening and protecting, learning how to recoil. Creating a pattern of resistance not only to pain and the idea of pain, but as pain is an intrinsic part of life, we also shut ourselves to a lot of the joy and possibility life has to offer. We are like a bicycle with only one wheel turning.

Of course it’s not just physical pain that activates this resistant programming of protective holding. Emotional discomfort will create the same patterns in the body and mind. Can you imagine the feeling a new born experiences having been surrounded by warm comforting fluid, safe in the womb, deeply connected to their mother, and then suddenly pushed out into the world, becoming disconnected from everything it’s known, in a sense separate and alone.

Throughout the course of our childhoods’ experiences of pain and discomfort are unavoidable, they are part of life, like the setting of the sun they will be experienced at some point. Learning that something dangerous is to be avoided is a necessary lesson if we are to be safe in the world. Where the problem arises is in the cultivation of an unhealthy relationship to pain or discomfort. We build up layer upon layer of protection in our bodies and minds. We learn to avoid not just pain, but the idea of pain, the possibility of pain. We create pain where none need exist. And this becomes the beginning of a shutting down and hardening to life, to possibility, to wonder, to joy and ultimately to love.

We have become masters of limitation in which aspects of our own nature are locked away and protected from the imagined probability that pain is coming. We begin to see the world as brutal and unforgiving, like the idea of the child in its darkened room imagining a monster under the bed. We too so often fear the future because of the wounding we carry. We close ourselves to our potential and this closing requires the part of us that sees beauty, unity and love to be covered up and locked away. We become numb to this part of ourselves, to the very heart of ourselves; not the physical heart, although that does take a toll as everything is connected, but to the core of our being, that place of worthiness and integrity within us. The only place in which we find true, sustainable contentment.

We as humans love. We are designed to love. Our physiology is healed and healthy when we give and receive love, when we share, serve others and care. It comes naturally to us. We feel peace, balance and inner harmony when we allow ourselves to love freely. Yet through all the wounding we experience we build these layers of holding and resistance, like wearing a suit of armour that becomes so difficult to take off, especially if it is all we can remember. If we don’t know we can have it better why would we look, why would we try. So we accept the pain we carry because it has become familiar and normal. And because the idea of change is so laced with fear for us we resist the growth that would allow our hearts to be felt more fully. In all our endeavours to resist the pain of the world we simply end up resisting the very best of ourselves.

As a human being and yoga teacher understanding and unravelling these patterns is the foundation of my life and work. I use the body and breath to begin to bring clarity and create an environment in which it becomes easier for myself and others to shed these layers and tap into what lies underneath. This is not an easy journey but it is easily the most rewarding journey any of us will ever take in this life. Sometimes described as the path from head to heart. Working through the body is such a rewarding practice and because the body is real in the tactile sense it’s something that we all get. When we begin to know how resistant patternings hold us in their grip, when we begin to step into awareness, we can start the process of letting go. The process of surrendering.

We are designed to be free, to feel a sense of freedom in our lives. And in truth if that’s not there for you it’s an invitation to do the work that will allow you to manifest it.

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Article by Michael Ryan
Michael teaches a mindful yoga practice, interweaving his experience of meditation, his love of philosophy and poetry. His classes have been described as a slow flowing deep journey into a place of greater ease and presence. He also leads workshops, trainings and retreats, both in Ireland and abroad. For more information go to michaelryanyoga.com.
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