How I changed the cycle of chronic pain and created The Ass Movement

March 2013, it was a typical weekend where I went out and got absolutely black out drunk. This is something I had done from the age of 17 nearly every single weekend until then (I was 26 years old in 2013). I honestly thought this ridiculous behaviour was normal. I really should have known that eventually these drunken antics would catch up with me. Usually I would wake up in my bed the next morning and as long as the bed was dry, I had my phone and my wallet, I saw nothing wrong with what I was doing.

Unfortunately that night in March 2013 I didn’t make it home to my bed. Instead, I woke up in an ambulance. I thought I was having a nightmare. I had to be told by the paramedics that I was knocked down by a vehicle and thrown up in to the air on my way home. Initially I refused to believe it until I realised my head was in a neck brace and I wasn’t allowed to move. I got to the hospital and I was still completely ignorant of what had happened. X-Rays and scans were done and I was told that I was incredibly lucky (which I was) that no bones were broken. I was ordered to stay overnight in the hospital but I couldn’t accept the reality of what had happened.  At the first opportunity I pulled myself up, ripped off the neck brace against the doctors and nurses wishes and dragged myself out of the hospital and home. I just wanted to ignore what had happened.

The pain begins

Sadly I couldn’t ignore my injuries for too long. What proceeded was 18 months of absolute physical and emotional hell. The only way I can explain the pain is it was as if my muscles became solid concrete. The chronic whiplash injury sustained from the accident played havoc with my neck, back, shoulders, hips and legs. My body was on high alert from the accident because it was overwhelmed from what I had put it through. I had chronic pain all over my body and if I did any exercise all my muscles would completely clamp up which would put severe stress on my joints. I thought I was actually dying some days because the pain made me feel so ill and exhausted. I couldn’t believe I could see a young man in the mirror because I felt around 90 years old. This was the most frustrating time of my life but thankfully I do value the experience now.

Consumed by negative emotions

I began to focus on the pain way too much and I allowed it to stop me from doing things I loved with my friends. I shut myself off from everybody and that is when the depression set in. I was 100% suicidal. I had given up. I spent a lot of time alone in my bedroom. I ended up writing individual suicide notes for all my family and friends as I decided that I was done with living and put together various plans in my head to end it all. Fortunately I did not follow through with any of these plans.

I really was going mad with the pain I was going through and I didn’t want to share it with anybody. I didn’t want anyone to see the sick and depressed Mike. I wanted them to remember the happy and healthy Mike they once knew. This way of thinking caused me to spend more and more time on my own which just made things worse. It surely was a crazy period of my life and looking back it seems mad that that was me.

Writing all of the above is scary for me to read back because I have come so far in a short space of time. In the last twelve months I have completely changed my body and my mind for the better. Something deep down eventually overcame my depression and convinced me that I could turn things around. I don’t know what the turning point was but there are a lot of things that assisted me in shifting my mind-set and focus towards healing.

Desperate times

The main reason I am writing this is because I know others are going through similar challenges and think there is no way out of their suffering. There 100% is a way out and that is what I want to share. I also want to be there to provide help and advice because I hate the thought of other people going through what I experienced as it was a horrifically dark and lonely existence.

Chronic physical pain is one thing but the emotional pain that it causes is so much worse. The great news is that if you can calm the emotional pain then the physical pain subsides which has been the case in my situation. Initially I was so furious at myself for getting knocked down, I blamed myself repeatedly for roughly 18 months. During that period both my physical and emotional pain got worse and worse. I thought I was developing chronic arthritis because all my joints would crack from my muscles being so tight. Then I decided it was fibromyalgia because with any physical activity all my muscles would flare up in agony. I got so desperate to find an answer to why I felt so sick. I visited various neuro-muscular therapists, physical therapists, osteopaths, chiropractors, energy healers, trauma healers, psychotherapists, kinesiology practitioners, reiki healers and the list goes on. Though some sessions were beneficial the benefits didn’t last very long. I grew more and more angry and frustrated and just kept chasing other answers thinking somebody else was going to solve my problem.

A new focus : Positivity and determination wins

Eventually I got extremely fed up and I made a decision that I was no longer going to rely on therapists to fix me. It came to a point that I said I was no longer going to feel sorry for myself and that I was going to heal myself. I made a choice to forgive myself for the accident and developed a new focus to make myself better.

It has taken a lot of patience, hard work and determination to get my body back on track but in the last 6 months I have made unbelievable progress and I owe it to my positive and focused outlook.

One year ago I couldn’t run 100 yards without getting a flare up of horrific back, neck and hip pain. Now I cycle to work every single day. I attend a pre-work 7am yoga class Monday to Friday and then I cycle home in the evening after work and go to the gym. This has all happened because I decided to take a different view on my health. My recovery and healing was being hindered by my negative attitude and outlook. By simply changing my attitude to one of positivity and focused determination I have gotten insane results.

We can heal ourselves

There are many other things that I have done to get myself back to where I am now but I will share all of these things in my later posts. My main point with this post is to send the message that in order to recover and heal from injury there is one thing you must do before doing anything else. That one thing is to take responsibility for your own healing process and develop a positively charged plan and daily routine in order to reach your end goal of full health and happiness.

If I can help one person turn the corner and get their life back where they want it then I have achieved my goal. I know how lonely, helpless and upsetting it can be to fight chronic pain on your own and I am here to help people overcome the pain and reclaim their lives.

“The Ass Movement” is based on the idea that you have to kick yourself into action to get results. Nobody ever gets what they want from sitting still and waiting for things to happen. You need to get up and get your ass moving towards your goals in order to achieve them. There is plenty more to come from The Ass Movement. I will be posting about different things that have helped me heal my body and mind so that I can provide helpful information to others who are on their own journey towards healing.

Thanks for reading. Happy, determined, positive and focused healing to you all.